


Coming to You Live

by nobodymove



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Reporter, Slice of Life, TV News, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:38:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodymove/pseuds/nobodymove
Summary: The Venom AU where Eddie Brock isn't a hard hitting exposé journalist, but a local puff piece reporter, trying to balance home & garden shows, farmer's markets, the 52nd annual harvest festival, and the ravenous alien being sharing his existence.This is MBC7 San Francisco's Eddie Brock with Brock on the Block.





	1. Oysterfest

"As of yet, the SFPD are still looking for leads regarding this string of brutal decapitations. If you have any information, you are encouraged to call the hotline at the bottom of the screen. For MBC7 San Francisco, this has been Elizabeth Brant, reporting," Elizabeth said, before turning toward camera 2.

 

"And now we go out to Eddie Brock in the field, for another edition of  _Brock on the Block."_

A folksy acoustic guitar cover of a knock-off rock standard segued to Eddie on camera, standing in a sea of people.

 

"Thanks Betty. This is Eddie Brock, reporting live from Oysterfest in Golden Gate Park." Eddie flexed in his uncomfortably tight Oysterfest t-shirt. He asked for an L or an XL but Shelly was always giving him mediums, which were too tight in the arms and across the chest and made him feel like a dickhead on camera. He'd have to ask wardrobe to knock it off.  _Again._

 

"People in the Bay Area turn out by the thousands for Oysterfest every year, and for good reason." 

 

**EDDIE.**

 

"Live music, perfect weather and sustainable, locally sourced oysters from up and down the Pacific Coast. If you got a hunger-"

 

**WE HUNGER, EDDIE.**

 

"-a hunger for oysters on the half-shell, Oysterfest is the place to be, from 11AM to 6PM at Sharon Meadow on the eastern side of the park. But don't all rush down here at once, tickets for the one day event, usually a measly $45 bucks, have been sold out for weeks."

 

They rolled a segment they'd filmed that morning during set up, featuring close ups on favorite stalls and food trucks, festival attendees slurping oysters and cheers-ing over Napa Valley wines and craft beer, with little snippets of testimonials from locals, chefs, and vendors. It ended on an out-of-focus shot of the main stage as some no-name opener started to warm up the crowd.

 

They returned to Eddie, now walking, the camera panning with him along a table of food samples they'd laid out.

 

"Whether you like 'em raw, on the half shell or Rockefeller-"

 

**RAW, EDDIE.**

 

"-Oysterfest is the oyster best. Back to you Betty."

 

As soon as the camera was off, Eddie winced. "Oysterfest is the oyster best? Jesus, Robbie, what are they tryin' to do to me, here?"

 

Robbie gave Eddie a thumbs up shifting the camera off his shoulder. "We got it Eddie, we're good to go."

 

"Thank fuckin' god," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He gestured behind him with his thumb. "You good to load up the van? I'm  _starvin'."_

**FOOD.**

 

"Yeah Eddie, go stuff your face." Eddie patted him on the shoulder as he walked by. "I'll grab you somethin'," he said offhandedly as Robbie waved him off.

 

He got a good sixty feet before a woman sidled up to him, her put-upon husband a stall away, struggling to rearrange an armful of takeaway bags.

 

"Hi, I couldn't help but notice the camera, are you Eddie Brock?" she asked, touching his bicep. "From  _Brock on the Block?"_

He could feel his symbiote writhing in amusement.

Eddie gave the middle aged blonde what Anne liked to describe as his smile-grimace. "Yeah, yup, that's me," he said, maneuvering out of her range, shaking her hand and then offering to shake her husbands' in an attempt to ward off the awkwardness. "Always good to meet people who watch the show."

 

Her husband, still holding the bags, offered his index finger to shake, looking about as pleased to see him as J. Jonah Jameson used to. Eddie shook it as best as he could, the bags rattling on the man's arms, looking for a convenient hole in the ground he could crawl into. 

 

The woman leaned forward. "So lucky to run into you here. I  _adore_  your work. Your coverage of the Strut Your Mutt charity walk was an absolute gem, very informative."

 

**THIS IS BORING, EDDIE.**

"You're tellin' me."

 

"Sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch it."

 

**WE COULD EAT HER, EDDIE. BUT SHE LACKS SUBSTANCE.**

"OH UH, just uh, you're tellin' me, the Best Friends Animal Society does great work. Glad to see the fundraiser get bigger every year."

 

A sign behind her caught his eye.

 

_Oyster Eating Contest, 1PM_

His body, puppet-like, abruptly turned. "Sorry to cut this short but I gotta go bye-" he called back to her as Venom made his intentions known, navigating their way through the crowd.

 

**RAW OYSTERS, EDDIE.**

"Yeah, I see that buddy," Eddie said, trying to slow himself down.

 

**_FREE_ OYSTERS, EDDIE.**

 

"I don't know if you know this, big guy, but I can trip around here and get you some fuckin' oysters-"

 

**AN _AWARD_ FOR GORGING OURSELVES ON OYSTERS, EDDIE. THE PERVERSITY OF YOUR SPECIES IS OUR GAIN. OUR VICTORY IS ASSURED.**

With a long suffering sigh, Eddie signed in for the contest, picking up his shucking knife and oyster bib along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my point of reference for venom is a couple trades i have, the terrible 90s spiderman cartoon and this extremely bad movie that i am looking forward to buying out of a bargain bin for about 5 bucks in six months. i care not for canon or pedantic nonsense. to be clear i have no idea what i'm doing but let's all have a good time. good vibes eddie and venom.


	2. The San Francisco Flower and Garden Show

Eddie was sitting in a folding chair by a large koi pond as Brenda did the last of his makeup. He was tugging at the sleeves of his henley where they didn't  _quite_  cover his wrists, his shoulders pulling his shirt out and up. Another size medium, damn it Shelly. 

 

He'd been on the event center floor since 6AM, collecting interviews and snippets from early set up to the public opening for when they went live at 5.

 

"Okay Eddie," Brenda said as she started loading everything into her portable makeup case. "You've got about 20 before you need to be back here and I'll look you over for touchups, so don't mess up your face too much."

 

"Can't get anymore messed up than this ugly mug, Bren. You're a miracle worker."

 

She bopped him on the nose with the bristles of her biggest brush. "And you're a flirt, Dumbo ears. Anyway, have you seen Robbie? I need to check in before I get ready to go back to the station. Apparently there's some big story tonight and Betty needs me for the 7 o'clock."

 

Eddie shrugged, uncapping a bottle of water. "You better get goin' then, that's bigtime co-anchor stuff. Think he was getting some close up shots at the Primo Plantscapes booth, he headed off in that direction," he said with a wave.

 

"Ooh, that one was pretty, lots of those bamboo fountain things. You should stretch your legs some, Brock, you've been sitting a while," she said, slapping his knee as she stood up. She set her case next to him as she walked away.

 

Eddie sipped at his water, appreciating the quiet.

 

Momentarily.

 

He slipped on his earbuds, pretending to make a call. "Hey, V," he said conversationally.

 

There was a long pause.

 

**...HELLO EDDIE.**

Eddie's eyes narrowed, suspicious. "What are you up to V?" he asked, turning back around to face the koi pond.

 

His symbiote was connected to him by thin threads of inky black tendrils, the better part of his vaguely humanoid form submerged in the water. His jaw of jagged teeth was unhinged, and he was chewing something. Eddie sprang up, jumping the fence and cornering him at the edge of the water.

 

"Venom.  _No."_ He hissed between his clenched teeth, looking around wildly to see if he was drawing attention to himself. Themselves. Whatever. They were in a somewhat secluded area obscured by elaborate landscaping, and Robbie had cordoned off the area for the press with orange cones, thank God. The mill of the crowd was present, but distant. 

 

Eddie made eye contact with Venom's milky gaze, before Venom shoved his hands over his mouth, chewing faster.

 

_"VENOM!"_

**NO EDDIE. YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE _SNACKS._  WE ARE SIMPLY AVAILING OURSELVES OF THOSE WITHIN PROXIMITY.**

 

Eddie dove for him, wrestling him out of the water. It was a struggle not to get wet or fall in, but Brenda would  _kill_  him. "V, we been over this!" he yelled as quietly as he possibly could. "You can't fuckin', scrounge around for food while I'm at  _work!"_

 

**THEY ARE SLOW, WEAK CREATURES, EDDIE. THEY SWAM INTO MY JAWS. WE DID NOT HUNT THEM, THEY CAME TO USSSS.**

"Don't try to get off on a technicality, V, those fucking fish are like $300.  _Each."_

That seemed to give Venom pause.

 

**WE WERE UNAWARE THEY WERE OF VALUE, EDDIE. THEY ARE BOTTOM FEEDERS. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR BEING.**

"...How many did you  _eat?"_ he asked, a little afraid to know.

 

**...**

 

_"Come on,_  big guy," Eddie said, scrubbing at his scalp in exasperation.

 

**THE TOTAL MAY HAVE BEEN... SLIGHTLY LESS THAN $1800.**

_"Jesus_  V! We ate on the way here!"

 

Venom made a strange, guttural sound, and coughed a live koi, somewhat worse for the wear, back into the pond.

 

**$1500.**

"Oh-ho, good for you V, showin' so much restraint!"

 

**WE GET HUNGRY WHEN WE'RE _BORED,_  EDDIE.**

"I was gonna take you out right after the broadcast!  _Terri Sue's Toffee_  is literally right over there!" he said with an emphatic sweep of his arm.

 

_**...TOFFEEEE?** _

__

"It's chocolate, with crunchy sugary shit on the inside. You like crunchy. Bones are crunchy. Think of this as like, chocolate with bones. Jesus, the shit I'm sayin' these days."

 

The symbiote seemed to consider this, and merged itself back into Eddie's body.

 

**CHOCOLATE. CRUNCHYYY. WE FIND THIS AN ACCEPTABLE COMPROMISE.**

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Yeah I bet," he said, plucking out his earbuds and tossing them at his bag. "So fuckin' demanding."

 

"That your girl?"

 

Eddie jumped. "Jeeze Brenda, give a guy some warning!"

 

Brenda laughed at him as she approached, Robbie a couple booths back, adjusting his equipment. "Sorry, it's just that half the girls at the station are  _dying_  to know who this mysterious V is."

 

Eddie immediately began to sweat. "W-what- who-"

 

Brenda laughed, slapping his arm. "Don't worry about it champ, I'm not gonna say anything. Sounds like you're real serious about her. She shy?"

 

"S-so shy," Eddie said with a laugh, heat crawling up his neck. "Not a big fan of the spotlight."

 

Brenda looked approving. "That means she's smart," she said, tapping her temple. "I'm not gonna lie. It's good to see you back in the game again, after, well. After everything with Anne. And I really liked Anne. I hope this one's a keeper."

 

Eddie cleared his throat a little as he crossed his arms, kicking at the dirt. "Yeah, me too. They're stuck with me, anyway."

 

**YOU ARE AN IDEAL HOST, EDDIE.**

It took a lot of willpower for Eddie not to jump.

 

"It's probably hard for her, with your little fan club and everything."

 

"Fan club?" Eddie asked, baffled.

 

"Aw Eddie, come on," she said, laughing at him some more. "Every stay-at-home isn't watching the live at 5 for the  _community calendar._  If I remember right I think they call you the  _MBC7 Cutie with the Booty._ There's letters and fan blogs and everything. You have your own Spacebook page."

 

"You're  _kidding,"_  Eddie said in disbelief, digging out his phone to check. "27,000 likes and followers?" He held up his phone. "Is this real?"

 

**DO YOU SEE EDDIE, HIGHLY DESIRABLE.**

"As real as your abs," Brenda said with a snort, squinting at his phone screen, "according to Brynlee Hutchinson from Petaluma."

 

Eddie put his face in his hands. "Why would you tell me this right before broadcast, Bren?"

 

She held up her hands. "Hey, I honestly thought you knew. You're a cocky SOB about everything else."

 

**BRENDA IS AMUSING, WE LIKE HER.**

Eddie shook his head with a short laugh. "Can't argue with that."

 

"Now come on Eddie,  _Brock on the Block_  isn't going to report itself," she said, motioning to Robbie as he walked over to set up the camera. "I have to head out, but you're standby in 5."

 

\---

 

Venom, in his diminished little blob of a form, munched at his toffee cheerfully from the V of Eddie's jacket, snugged into his open shirt, as Eddie walked to the ass end of the event center parking garage where he'd had to leave his bike that morning. Eddie felt a low hum of contentment from Venom, which was a relatively new feeling that had sprung up between the fits of alien anger and the nearly ever present hunger. It was nice.

 

**A GOOD DAY FOR US, EDDIE.**

 

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Oh yeah, you enjoy yourself?"

 

**THE CONCEPT OF MOVING AUTOTROPHS THAT ARE ILL SUITED TO THIS CLIMATE INDOORS FOR A MERE 72 HOURS IS AN ABSURDITY.**

Eddie shrugged. "Yeah, most of humanity is absurd. Goes with the territory."

 

**HOWEVER, WE FOUND MUCH OF IT... AESTHETICALLY PLEASING.**

Eddie gave a little half smile.

 

**THIS TOFFEE IS SATISFYING, MORESO THAN OUR LAST OUTING.**

"...You are not gonna let Oysterfest go, are you?"

 

**WE WERE _ROBBED_ , EDDIE. BY A DIMINUTIVE FEMALE.**

"Bud, we got our asses beat by South Korea's #2 professional Competitive Eater. And it was only by a couple of oysters."

 

**HER DETERMINATION WAS... ADMIRABLE. A WORTHY OPPONENT.**

"See? There's that famous Symbiote humility." He hit the button on his bike keys to unlock it, slipping on his helmet. "Now let's go home, V."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> put that thing back where it came from or so help me, the eddie and venom musical
> 
> Shelly knows what’s up


End file.
